Motorways and what not. I sir, sit here on a jammed motorway for little reason than over crowding, poor drivers and unnecessary speed restrictions.

I’m on my back from Bristol to London travelling some 120 miles and for once I have sat my sorry arse on a packed bus, which is sweltering in the only way a British bus could. And as I watch the constant gaggle of cars amassing around our coach. I conclude as I have done countless times before that people really don’t know how to drive motorways. I assume it is because we’re not taught to. Not once did I go on a motorway with a driving instructor.

I remember back to when I first passed my test, and first popped myself at the entrance of these gifts of man. I floored the accelerator as deep in the ground as I could, pushing the car down the slip road, dodging cars as I scrambled on. It’s at this point fear, lack of knowledge and training kick in, on the most dangerous undertaking a human is ever likely to do willingly and supposedly normally. I was hurling down a road at 70 mph in a tin box that could do faster than that and I was holding on for dear life.

I pulled on all my vicarious learned skills and muddled my way through. Luckily I grew up learning motorway driving on the autobahns in Germany. And I knew the point was to drive fast, drive safe and most of all know what is going on around you. That’s the key see. Knowing who is around you, where the gaps are, and who is coming up behind you. Alertness being everything, I was looking all over the place. Weaving in and out of lanes, all to use the most appropriate space around me. No undertaking, just overtaking, and allowing others to overtake me. I used a motorway like it had three lanes. To this day, especially now it surprises me why people drive on these roads if they are going to sit in the middle lane and cruise their way along, with no idea the chaos the leave in their wake. The 3 lane motorway is shackled into 1 lane, which we all bunch up into, for a slight hope to get passed that twat in the middle lane, to the left of him/her there is of course nothing. They sit in the middle of the motorway with their ideology that at some point they’ll need to overtake a car, so best just to stay put. I ask, why oh why don’t they let us all pass safely!?

Why is this such a bad problem? Because everyone does it. Why do they do it? My theory is fear of changing lanes, laziness, complete lack of understanding, no training and the wretched speed limit. The 70 mph limit brings apathy and boredom to driving, turning it to mundane experience that doesn’t require attention. Of course others treat the limit as a way to play police and control everyone’s speed. “I’m at the limit, you can’t overtake me anyway, so I’m not moving over,” they scream in their cars.

Well bollocks to it all. If the motorways are to move more efficiently, remove limits, teach people to drive them and slap the middle lane cruisers with a fine!

Photo by Mccaffrey