there are great moments in life that lead you to the highest moments and then there are moments that keep you tumbling down what can only ever be described as an ever decreasing hole. Well that is exactly where I am today, and I’m pretty sure I’ve been here before, same spiralling hole, same empty space laying before me. The only nice things about that is that self pity and wallowing in the mess that surrounds you, gives not only a deep sense of realisation but better still (…after time) great hope and new direction. Bollocks to anyone who thinks I’m going to change myself for them, yes accommodate their needs, reflect an image they want to perceive, but actual change, that runs deep into the psyche that I have cobbled together from living, not a chance. So what if I am who I, show me someone who isn’t and I’ll show you a troubled mind and a person deep down who loathing of themselves. Life is way to short to start giving a shit and troubling over all the bits that make you happy. Maybe the only way forward is to cut those things out of your life, the questions remains how? and is it really the best way?

I’m almost sure that by tomorrow this post would not have been necessary, but I’m thinking now, that this site needs a rant section where I can write out some of my fraustrations. I’m sure there are many outburst to come.